Da Emprah’s Space Morons (1)

Summary
This episode tells of the origins of Da Emprah, and his first crusades, along with an Orky rewrite of his The Emperor of Mankind's Space Marine speech.

Transcription
Across the galaxy there are many strange tales, but few are as confusing as the rise of the Ork warlord known as Da Emprah.

After a flurry of warp storms, a tremendous space hulk crawling with Orks emerged near the minor shrine world of Pax Bobiskum. The Order of the Sacred Fire was ill-prepared for the sudden Ork assault, as a great number of their sisters had already departed to join the Indomitus Crusade. Most of those remaining were aging veterans or those who had not yet completed their training and taken their full vows as sisters. Despite overwhelming odds the Sisters of Battle and the populace put up a determined defense of their sacred planet. During one of the battles the Orks broke the line of the Sororitas and swept inside the "Basilica of the Emperors Light". Rather than abandon the basilica to be defiled by the foul Xenos, the Sisters chose to collapse their sanctuary on their foes, and make their enemies bleed for every step they took upon sacred ground. One fortunate Ork was not killed, but survived buried beneath the rubble for three days, and the Ork could do little more than stare at the grand mosaic of the Emperor that had fallen from the great, vaulted, ceiling of the basilica, and now pinned him. When he was discovered and pulled from the wreckage by his fellows, the Ork began acting oddly. He began wearing golden ornamentation and favored armor fashioned from fallen Space Marines. He gathered a sizable following of Orks and he had them clad in Ceramite, making them Orky simulacra of Space Marines. These Xenos, in a twisted mockery of the Emperor, began their own crusade, and oddly enough, only seemed to focus on the servants of Chaos and other Xenos raiders, though they were happy to fight any imperial forces that tried to interfere.

The following was a Vox Cast to the Chaos-conquered agri-world of Magnus Fundus from Da Emprah:

"Dey's gonna be me bestest Boyz, these gits dat do wot I tell 'em. Like Squig paste I'm gonna mold 'em, and in da burnie hot finger of WAAAGH! I'll forge 'em. Dey gots da iron skull, and deyz dead hard. Da bestest gubbins will dey wear, and with the mightiest Dakka will dey shoot. Ain't no Boyz ever gonna get sick cuz dat's stupid. Deyz gonna be dead cunnin' and have all da best flashy bits, to stomp any git in da galaxy. Deyz da mighty Ork hold against da spiky gits. Deys da offenders of humanity. Deyz me Space Morons, and dey don't know what fear is."